Famous Lines That are Now My Own

by Echo Clairday 6:12 AM 2 comments

If I am out of my mind, it's alright with me. 

I don't know if things are okay, I think they might be, but with me who knows? I know that people are judging me for being here, I don't mind though. If I were on the outside looking in, I'd judge me too. I won't be here much longer, I have a plan. It had raining for a week, it always seems much drearier when it rains. A hospital can only get so much more depressing. The rain stopped during the day, but the clouds were rolling back around. The nurses keep a close eye on me, I think they know that I have a plan, but no matter what happens, I will get out. I have been here for far too god damn long, I am even more tired than I was before I came up. There was no help, nothing they could do would ever put me in my right mind again. I doubt they really care, everything's a job to them. You'd think that they'd be doing a better job, but who knows, maybe they don't get paid enough to wipe our asses and dry our tears. It's all behind me though, or at least it will be. I can't sit still anymore, I can't stand it. I can't stand the smell anymore, I can’t stand the people. I can barely stand myself, but at least if I left I would be able to do what I want, go where I want and try and be what I want. I don’t want to have to explain myself and how I got out, I’m tired of explaining my actions to people who aren’t really listening. I know eventually I’ll be found, and that eventually I’ll be back here, I could never be on my own for too long, it never ended well. Leaving was surprisingly easy, I didn’t expect to get out- or back in- so easily. In all my excitement to escape, I had forgotten the one thing that matter to me, a stuffed bear I had won for myself at some stupid carnival I went to as a child. I luckily did not realize too late, and hadn’t gotten too far. Well, actually, I had gotten pretty damn far. I got all the way to my damn hotel, and had to get a taxi back, just to sneak in and out again. I cursed myself for holding onto such a stupid item. After a little hard work, I was able to snuggle the bear against my body, clinging to it for warmth and comfort. I mingled with a few of the other patients, trying to time it right. My escape had to be perfect, considering that ten minutes ago, I was out and had to march my happy ass right back in. I took a deep breath, and walked to the front door, thunder clapping for me as I did. The clouds opened up, rain beating hard against the windows.

After a while i went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.