Death (Vent Post)

by Echo Clairday 6:09 AM 1 comments

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Death is a funny thing. Tonight is the first night in my entire 17 years that I have dealt with it. I sit here, crying, trying to understand it. But there is nothing to understand. This is the reality we must live. We must always say goodbye. I feel like my tears are invalid as it wasn't direct loved one. Yet... I loved him. I loved that dopey looking cat. His long vampire-like teeth to his nub of a tail. The black silky fur made his light green eyes pop. Soots. That's what his name was.

My friend, texted me in a panic. She had found him, lying in a puddle of his own piss. When she tried to clean him, he went limp, submerging himself in the water, taking it in as if he didn't care anymore. By the time I pulled into the drive way, it was too late. He had died in her arms. I have never truly seen anyone so physically broken until I ran in and my friend clutched the limp body to her, screaming, bawling for help. For the next thirty minutes we cried. I tried to be strong but the cat I had once been so amazed with staring at me with cold lifeless eyes. Once her mother burst into the house, she sat with us. Yet no words could seem to comfort my friend. I felt as though I had to be strong. For her sake and my own. As my phone lost charge, we frantically looked for any hospital who would take away our precious boy. Once we found the only open vet in Springfield, we got in the car. You would expect the ride to be quiet but no. We tried to ignore the truth by telling stories about something else, laughing, ignoring the dead feline in my best friends arms. When we finally found our way to the vet, we sat there for a long while, crying. Then we started telling more silly stories. Until it was time to give up Soots. We were quiet when he finally left. Once he was gone though, it seemed less real. Like we didn't have to face it anymore. The part that put me most at ease was probably the car ride home. We talked of some silly stories of our beloved Soots. The dopey vampire cat. After a few minutes of sitting in their driveway, I left. Driving home, I began to cry again. I could finally cry as I wanted to. I had to pull over, more than once because I couldn't see through the tears. I got home and laid with my dog and parents, sobbing. I have never mourned in my life so I felt as though my feelings were invalid.

After crying until I felt as though my head would explode, I came to bed. Which is where I am now. Writing this story. Crying. It still doesn't feel real, but I hope my mom is right. "This feeling will go away in time. It will just become your reality."